I pause there and consider what that means. I can't decide if it's because I have been quiet with a purpose, or because I feel like I need to say something monumental that covers the gap of time...or if it is because I was silenced. I don't know what the answer is. I only know that every time I sit down and prepare to write something, I feel like its not enough. But there are so many amazing things to say! So many incredible things happening! And I don't record anything because I don't know where to pick up from where I left off...
Let me start by saying...I'm okay.(Deep Breath.) I'm healing.(Smile of gratitude.) I'm getting stronger every day. The pain and the words that I used to hear are becoming a distant memory. Most days I forget them entirely. Even the concept of how I spent those few years of my life seems foreign. It's something that will never happen again. But I have found gratitude in the ways that it made me grow and gain understanding. I don't have anything else to say about it tonight, except that it's over...almost.
My daughter is amazing. I will close this with her words:
'do you know where'd thoughts come from mom? Well, I will tell you. Dey start in your heart, then move up your throat to your brain where you think them. Then they go out of your head until anoder one comes from your heart.'
I am looking forward to the new thoughts coming up from my heart.