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An open letter to 'Trader Joes'

Dear 'Trader Joes',

I wanted to take a moment and thank you for the over-all durability and leak-proof quality of your freezer shopping bags...

Last night, my husband and I went to dinner at Jake's Steakhouse. I ate a bbq cheddar burger with extra cheese, battered fries, and mushrooms. I am about 7 months pregnant, and at the end of my meal the baby decided to protest. I looked down to see my stomach lurch into different shapes as the baby did somersaults back and forth. The room felt like it was spinning and my neck began to sweat. It was a lot of food to have in my stomach with a baby rolling around!

I finally felt like I could get up, and made my way out to the car. Thankfully we were parked in the second parking space from the entrance of the restaurant, so I did not have far to go. As soon as I sat down in the passenger seat, I knew that I needed to throw up. I opened the car door and leaned my head out over the pavement, repeating 'I DON'T WANT TO THROW UP' several times in a high pitched whine.

My husband jumped out of the car and ran around to the passenger side. He rummaged around in the back seat, and found one of your freezer shopping bags that we had purchased at the Beachwood Trader Joes location several months ago. He frantically struggled with the Velcro and got the bag open just in time. I leaned down and put my head in the bag and threw up over and over. In fact, I vomited so much that the bag expanded to full capacity.

When I finally stopped vomiting, my husband closed the Velcro and held the bag by the handles. He looked around the parking lot and saw a 4 year-old girl sipping her soda that had been watching the whole time, but no sign of a dumpster. I continued to hold my head out of the car door as streams of snot and vomit residue fell down to the pavement, but could not find any Kleenex or napkins to clean up with. I peered up through the car door window and watched as my husband gallantly carried the 2 pound bag of vomit the entire way around the building, in front of the windows where people were eating. When he returned, he brought Kleenex so I was finally able to wipe my face and settle back into the car seat.

As he started the car, he informed me that while he was carrying the vomit back to the dumpster, he could feel it sloshing around in the bag but the bag held strong and didn't spill a drop! He also told me that he accidentally hurled the bag into the cardboard recycling dumpster by mistake instead of the regular dumpster. I assume that since 'Trader Joes' promotes environmentally conscious behavior that the bag was most likely made out of recyclable materials anyhow?

Again, I just wanted to thank you! I recommend that everyone should have one of your freezer shopping bags handy just in case. Please feel free to use my story in any advertising campaigns for 'Trader Joes' to help spread the word.


Jennifer Fitz Bennett

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August 2012
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